It’s been a while. I’m surprised I still have followers.
I’ve written two half-posts since the last one. One of them is titled Hello, 2013. “I spent most of the year counting down to the end of the world and I’m pretty bummed that I survived it” and “I remember I used to ride the buses over and over, searching the face of every stranger, looking for something I could not name. Now I mostly lie in bed” and ”2012 was a year of failure.”
A little while later: “But I’ve had two weeks of relative mental health. It’s the longest stretch I’ve had in over a year. I don’t hate myself all the time. I can look strangers in the eyes. I feel. It’s taken me years to fully grasp it, but these moments of sanity are a gift.”
Sixteen months of grinding depression, less than a month of peace, and I was right back to where I started. You know what? I don’t care any more. I’ve spent the past month and a half skipping classes and meals to play Castle Story. My nails are never painted, my room is always a wreck, I rarely stray from a uniform of jeans and a plain shirt on the infrequent occasions I leave the house.
Half my life. It’s not cute any more. I know I should be grateful because feeling apathetic is better than feeling broken, but I’m so sick of this.
mylifepg asked: Who is your favourite hockey team? Also...I love your blog, and your writing :)
Thank you! Are you a hockey fan as well?
I love you, my dear followers. I really do. Unfortunately, I am a poor college student and can’t afford to do a giveaway with actual substantial items. But I would like to do something, so I have decided to do a handwritten letter giveaway.
I think we all agree that letters are fantastic.
So here’s what you do.
- Reblog this post
- Be following me (findingthinagain)
- Wait until February 1st
- Find out if you were randomly selected as the winner
I will go through the winner’s blog and get to know them as much as possible through their words and pictures. This may take some time, clearly. But when I feel like I really have a grasp on who they are, I will write them a letter in my cacographic script, saying whatever I think they need or would want to hear. I might even draw a picture of a turtle, or dip Tony’s paw in paint and give you a paw print. You never know. Also, there’s a 79% chance that this will lead to me wanting to be your best friend. Reading a whole blog can do that to a person.
Let’s do this.
I don’t normally reblog these things, but I really love this girl. In a non-creepy, she-inspires-the-shit-out-of-me way.
Oh, who am I kidding, I’m always creepy when I love.
|me in my head:||i'm going to get my life together and read classic novels and drink green tea and eat really healthy and wear cute outfits and make interesting artwork and spend lots of time outside. i'm going to start biking everywhere and walking and listening to lots of new indie bands that i've always wanted to listen to and take bubble baths and my life is just going to be amazing.|
|me in reality:||well. today i think i'm going to watch netflix in my pjs and eat ice cream. and if i'm feeling really productive i might shower.|